I am a simple mother of two; two Irish Twins that is. Essentially, all that means is that I have two children born less than a year apart. My son is already 20 months old, and my daughter will be 10 months on the 13th.
If there are any other people out there with Irish Twins, you know how I feel, or at least somewhat. Not only do I have two itty bitty babies, but I also suffer from postpartum depression. In other words, I'm a mess. I simply went on my computer today, after quite a fight with my fiancee, to look up some help or group or something to help. There is nothing but old webpages to be found on Irish Twins filled with advice on saving costs and posting up pictures. But there's nothing on there about the anguish and pure enjoyment of such 'twins'.
I suppose I'm simply writing this blog as a means of venting and, of course, bragging about my babies. It may seem like I've started writing a little far into this whole Irish Twin baby world, but this is the first time I've had a chance to breathe. Perhaps only a little gasp of air, but at least it's something.
It all started when I got pregnant with my son. I was on the pill (apparently not as effective as I thought) and only found out because I through my back out at work. I was shocked, for sure, but pleasantly so. As was Wayne (my fiancee). Nine long months later, Lucas arrived via c-section. I'll not go into the gory details about my labor before c-sec. I tried with all my will to breastfeed my son, but I wasn't too good at it, and neither was he. Since there was no pressure on breastfeeding from Wayne or either families, we opted for formula. A decision I perhaps regret a little. When Lucas turned 4 months old, I found out I was exactly 8 weeks pregnant, again! This time, I balled my eyes out. I was sad, scared and worried all at the same time. Lucas may have only been 4 months, but he had just started teething at this time and was a little hellion to say the least.
At my 6 week check-up with the doctor after Lucas was born, I had the copper IUD put in. Obviously it moved before I got it checked (my own fault for not having getting the thing checked) and I got pregnant. My family doctor was able to remove the IUD, thank god, and I was left with the decision of keeping or aborting the pregnancy.
Wayne knew how hard it was with Lucas already. Remember, he was only 4 months old at the time, and extremely dependent on us for everything. I knew Wayne's decision, but also knew how I felt. Ultimately, Wayne left the decision up to me, and promised that he would back me either way. Obviously, I kept the pregnancy. Now only 6 long months later, Emily arrived via c-section as well.
I'll not go into gory details of that labor or delivery either, except to say that Wayne almost didn't make it into the operating room in time to see the birth of his daughter. Emily was born a full 3 weeks early and was extremely itty bitty to say the least. This time in the hospital was remarkably different from less then a year before. Not only was I in a private room, (we were in a ward with Lucas) Wayne was frequently back home caring for Lucas while I was left alone with Emily. Even though we had a great amount of bonding time, breastfeeding, again, did not go so well. By day 3 I had given up and moved onto what I knew best--formula. Another decision I regret, but do not beat myself up over.
The first 2 to 3 months after Emily came home is a complete blur. I do remember constant midnight feedings and changings. I remember Lucas' reaction to his sister--he thought her a doll, and smiled every time she made noise. I don't remember how I got through those first few months. I do know that I have my family, Wayne's family, and most of all Wayne to thank for helping me through those months.
One night when Emily was about 10 weeks old, Wayne made a comment about not having changed any of her diapers since the hospital. As all great women would do, I handed him the diaper and watched him change her, and made sure he was more involved with Emily, then just Lucas after that.
Many months leading up to now, are also a blur. I wake to a crying baby or babies, feed them, change them, entertain them, feed them some more, change them some more, put them to bed, and on and on it goes. Very rarely do I get any alone time. Wayne works afternoons. From 2pm (he starts at 3pm) until 11pm (sometimes he doesn't get home until 12 or 12:30am) I am alone with the kids. However, Wayne feed Emily late a night, so I get up in the morning at about 7am everyday and Wayne doesn't get up until 11:30am/12pm. For 2 hours during the week Wayne sees his babies. I resent him. It's hard not to. I miss going to work and getting out of the house. Getting out is difficult with two babies, especially when they were both born at the end of summer/beginning of autumn and the snow and cold is too much when they're just old enough to want to take places.
As for resenting him, I also admire his working. On the rare occasions that we've been baby-free for a few hours, I miss the babies terribly. Although, it's starting to get to the point where I would prefer to work (which is much easier) then be with the babies. Enough about that though... this is supposed to be more about support for parents of Irish Twins.
I suppose the one thing that has kept me going so long is those little moments. When Lucas took his first step, or called me 'mum'. When Emily first crawled/climbed. The reason I write this now is because Emily and Lucas no longer need me all the time. They are both capable now of entertaining themselves. As liberating as that is for me, it's also quite a downer. My little girl no longer wants to be coddled all the time, just sometimes.
One of those little moments, the ones that make your heart clench, happened earlier today. Emily and Lucas were playing on their plush chairs together. As in actually playing with each other! I literally swelled with happiness. Of course, I kissed both of them to death as soon as I could without interrupting their play.
Overall, I think this will help with my sanity and hopefully provide a few chuckles for others going through similar situations.
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